By now, we have all heard about The Snuggie... It's the revolutionary new way to relax on your couch, read a book and look like a complete dork. Blankets have been in existence for hundreds of years. If there were any possible improvements, any alterations would've been made to the trusted, old design generations ago instead of just last year.
(Over 4 million people have made this mistake.)
It's advertised as a fleece blanket with sleeves that make it easy to do things like answer the phone while staying cozy and warm without the dreaded inconvenience of uncovering yourself to use your hands. Clever? No. People, you have been hoodwinked. You've been fleeced... with fleece.
I totally shocked one of my wife's friends when I stated the obvious observation that The Snuggie is simply a robe put on backwards. Yep, everyone has been fooled. But not me. No way. I see right through the slick, wholesome advertising. I can decipher the code. The Snuggie wasn't created by someone's crafty grandmother or a cutting-edge seamstress. The Snuggie was created by Osama Bin Laden. That's right. Their $19.95 plus shipping is not only providing them with the uncoolest garment not including a pair of Crocs, it is also keeping Bin Laden safe in a mountain cave with his scud missiles pointed right at the good ol' US of A.
I believe the infomercials for this ridiculous garment are encoded with subliminal messages. Messages that convince Americans that this fleece Lord of the Rings costume is better than any blanket or quilt that you already own. Osama has brainwashed people into believing that previous Blockbuster nights haven't been quite what they could have been because they didn't incorporate this absurd fashion malfunction, which is now available in zebra stripes and leopard print.
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