Geriatric Idol

Welcome to 2010, ladies and gentlemen!  The 'Aughts' are over, and the new millenium is approaching its teen years.  Hopefully, we won't get any of the sort of smart-alecky backtalk for which my younger sister-in-law is known during these upcoming recession-recovery years.  For the past few Januaries, the New Year has brought us much enjoyment from the phenomenon that is American Idol.

Personally, I get more distress than anything.  It takes way too long to get to the good part of the show where the real talent is on display.  I can't stand the outtakes.  These blooper reels are just a waste of air time to me.  While I like the idea of displaying the diversity of contestants and wide range of talents during their prayerful run to stardom, I can't stand the staged, choreographed mockeries. This is what prevents me from 'getting into' the show early in the season.  This garbage is like the salad before the steak, or the NBA regular season compared to the playoffs.  I'll deal with it if you make me, but I'm not enjoying it at all.

A few years ago, it was William Hung and his broken-English, tone-deaf rendition of Ricky Martin's 'She Bangs.'  Though I think this guy was really trying, it's the producers of the show that are responsible for this travesty.

(What a slap in the face to people that really tried.  This dude got famous for being terrible.)

So here we are in season number nine, and the format of the show hasn't changed at all.  The producers have tried to switch it up by adding a few guest judges, but it's the same thing: cattle-call auditions that apparently are open to anyone willing to stand in line for a week.

However, according to contest rules, the winner can only be crowned if they between the ages of 16 and 28.  Thus eliminating this dignity and pride-free man:

(I've never seen a senior citizen do the splits and I see why.)

This guy hasn't been eligible to win since 1975. I'm talking age-wise. I'm not sure his talent would improve enough with another 35 years of practice to make it to Hollywood.

Why in the world would the producers even let this guy audition if he's not even eligible?  I guess they just want to help keep YouTube relevant. I do, however, agree with the message of the "song."  I thought sagging jeans stopped being cool when gangster rap and Starter jackets went out of style.

Since Mr. Larry Platt's 3 minutes with Simon went viral, it's been viewed tens of thousands of times. I hope Idol parlays this display of lyrical ingenius into a public service campaign.  Since people are subjecting themselves to this nonsense, at least the message could be emphasized.